Feeling a Little Off

For those who have read this post already, I apologize for changing the title, and adding to it. I wrote it after posting my other entries, and it felt a tad cold compared to my initial posts. I think the point in time where my week got thrown off was when I had a spat w/my hubby, and I decided to drown my sorrows in pizza, ice cream and Oreos. And then there was the housekeeper who told me the apartment I have been in the process of moving out of for the last 2 months, is "DIRTY." I guess what I am saying is Aunt Flo, and possible PMDD has really been robbing me of my usual coping skills and enthusiasm (this has only been my feeling since Friday). I also found out my bike will be in the shop for about 5 days. Hubby took it to get a tune up and he bought me an odomoter/spedometer!! I can't wait to get it back, though. The intense bike rides, which I am getting stronger and better at everytime I tackle the uphill climb, and downhill chug, are exhilirating. I love being outside, feeling the sun on my back and the fresh air in my lungs!!

I only worked out 4x so far this week, and my goal is at least 5-6. From what I hear, through my various sources, overtraining is just as bad as not exerising at all, and can cause a lot of damage. It can actually prevent weight loss too, and many times, a break can be a good thing. Now, going to the gym and riding my bike are addictive, and it's hard not to partake. I have a borderline addictive personality, and sadly, I understand and see where the OCD people are coming from on "Obsessed."

Today,I am feeling a lil sluggish and bloated. I saw my doctor on July 2 for my annual physical, and while she was thrilled with my weight loss (I weighed in for her at 154), I am clearly disappointed. I gained weight between January and now, due to major stressors that occurred this year so far. My husband and I bought a house in April and I have occasionally been a little more lenient on my nutrition than I should be- however, it's in spurts. It sometimes seems eating junk is an ingrained coping skill, despite going months feeling and knowing how bad those things are, what damage they do, and not even craving them. I have noticed when I get angry, I crave and want to eat bad stuff. I get sad, I want to eat bad stuff. It's almost like I want to punish myself, because I feel like I'm not good enough (since I haven't reached my weight/body fat percentage goal), so I might as well be bad all the way. I am such a person of habit. I like consistency. I want things to stay the same. I don't do well with change. Unfortunately, since January, all my life has done IS CHANGE. I think, now, things are going to finally settle down and get I'll be able into a regular routine again.

Ce'st la vie.

I know this is a passing feeling, so I am not beating myself up too much. I have a great support system and I am gonna get right back in the saddle.